So Says The Mouse In My Hair

Further Advice On Wintering In Maine

I’m really beginning to understand the livability of this state for those other three seasons. Here’s how you do it:

You start with a cozy smallish house that doesn’t involve too many rooms. Four should take care of all your needs.

Start with comfy chairs and book cases in the living room with the stove. Here is where you spend your day time. Dream or play chess or read a book. Vacuum sometimes to get the blood circulating. Exercise is fine too, just shove some furniture out of the way. Anyway, you get the point.

About 4:00 retire to the kitchen for meal preparation. Don’t forget to preheat the oven. But remember, in order for that to be a viable excuse, you must be using your oven for actual cooking purposes at some point. Otherwise, you are a dirty rotten cheater! Also feel free to use one or multiple burners as well for your side dishes. A warm vegetable and a cream sauce works excellently and there’s two extra sources of heat.

While the baking is progressing without your help, wash the dishes. Then eat immediately after turning the stove off in order to bask in the afterglow of the warmth.

The bathroom really only needs heat once a day and that is the time when you are at your most vulnerable. Bare assed. Fortunately, a shower allows for a lot of steam to build up, make sure the door is closed and your fan is not running. Fogged up is a direct symptom of the heat which you so fervently desire. Let it. There is still going to be the ten second shock to the system between the bathrobe and the beautiful hot water, but if you let the water run a tad (thirty seconds tops) before you undress, that will aid the process some.

Finally the bedroom, for which you are going to need two things. One: flannel sheets. Two: a partner. Yes, body heat. Make sure you like this person. It will smooth the snuggling process. Now it is a common problem for your partner to enjoy 60% fewer blankets than you do, so be prepared. Finagle your bedfellow into acting as a blanket, covering you to a certain extent without smothering you altogether. As far as weight goes, the comfort of the certain extent of body is roughly comparable to your missing blankets.

And make sure you both brush your teeth before bed.

posted by Sarah Eliza @ 4:47 PM