Happy 900!
So I’ve reached another hundred-man marker! This one being 9. So what does that mean? Because of this site…-1800 pupils saw the words, "So Says The Mouse In My Hair." This caused ? gazillion synapses to fire sending colorful images to the ? lobe of the brain.
-899 people have gone out and bought new hairbrushes because they’re afraid that they might have gotten e-lice from me. One just itched his scalp and licked his fingernails.
-712 people wondered, "is there anything interesting that I can ask Miss Eliza?" and answered themselves, "no." 80 people wondered the same thing but answered, "Yes, however this permanent vegetative state that I am in does not allow me to ask it." And 8 people answered, "yes, now leave me alone, will you?"
-I had to find 890 fingers lying around the dump so that I could count high enough to account for all the people that came to visit me. Speaking of fingers:
-612 people immediately clicked their mouse on "next blog >>"
-There have been 4200 seperate instances of, "Wha? Huh?"
-0 celebrities have anything to say to me. That’s ok though. It’s not like I’m dreaming of a scenario in which you write a letter that says, "Dear Miss Eliza, you are the high point of my every trip down Blog Way. If I had half your zest, and half your reasoning capability, I’d be making a quarter of the money that I do right now." I mean, come on!
-415 people have chair scooted slowly away from their computers due to the information I cause to be on their screens. 415 more have rolled slowly away from the computer. 165 people have backed slowly away under leg power, and the other 5 tried to get away, but they fell over and the computer ate them.
-9 people have laughed out loud. 109 people have cried. 209 people have had sex and 309 people have gone in search of cannibalistic cultures.
-667 people have gone out and spent $850 on alcohol and $12,400 on illegal substances and 4 drug stores have been burgled.
Not bad huh? I wonder what happens during the next 900 visitors!
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 3:55 PM
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