The Interview
Now Jason, you’re ten years old?Yup.
And you’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for how long?
Since November.
And why did your parents think you need therapy?
Cuz I lie a lot. Like I told people that my sister ran away after she got pregnant at her junior prom and that’s why she hasn’t been in school this year.
But isn’t that what really happened? I mean, that is the story that I got from your parents.
Well we all have to learn to lie from somewhere, don’t we? I learned from Mom and Dad. And they’re really good. Everyone believes them. So I guess I don’t see why they get to do it and I don’t.
Uh huh. So why do you think it is that your parents didn’t want Dr. Roberts to treat you anymore?
The candy.
The what?
She had candy in her desk all the time, and she’d give me a piece whenever I went in there. Mom and Dad don’t really approve of things like that, they’re big fans of sugar free. So when they found out that my psychiatrist was giving me candy that had real sugar in it, they had a huge fight. And now I’m here talking to you.
Is that what your parents told you it was about?
Yes.
And you believed them?
I want to, yeah.
When you say you want to believe them, you give the impression that you don’t believe, really. Were you aware of that?
Sort of, I guess.
Do you have another idea about what this is all about?
Well see, once a week my parents would sit in on my sessions, just to see how they were going, right? And in this last one, Dr. Roberts brought up the subject of Owen. He’s my older brother, right? He’s the backup catcher for the Devil Rays, and Mom is totally gung ho Yankees, and she feels like he’s sort of a traitor or whatever. Doesn’t even open his Christmas presents, even when he’s right there! And I think that’s totally stupid, and I’ve been wanting to tell her for a while and Dr. Roberts thought it was a good idea. Well she had a huge hissy fit and called me an ungrateful brat and walked out. Took the car too. Dad and I had to hitchhike back to our house.
Is that true, Jason?
What you don’t believe me?
Well you are here because you tell stories and most of them are lies, and if I’m going to help you I need to be able to know the difference.
You don’t trust me.
I wouldn’t go quite that far—
Why is it that I’m always hearing about the importance of trust in relationships? I mean, I don’t think I’m the only one that needs to go around trusting people. Just because I’m ten and you’re fifty doesn’t mean that I have to trust you but you don’t have to trust me. Because that’s dumb. It’s like discrimination or something. And I’m not going to put up with it.
Jason, do you really even want help with your problem?
What?
This lying problem that you’re here to solve, do you want to fix it?
That’s a cheesy question doc, don’t you think? I mean, duh.
That depends. Are we talking duh because if we didn’t want to fix it we wouldn’t be here in the first place or are we talking duh because it’s so much fun why should I want to stop?
I… umm…
Because, it’s fun, isn’t it Jason?
Yeah.
So tell me about that.
It’s like a challenge, or a dare or something. To make this whole other universe that doesn’t really exist, and to fill in details that don’t really mean anything, but the more details, the more people believe you, right? Because why would I bother to make all this stuff up? It’s just really thrilling.
And manipulative.
Yeah, and that. But who said that’s a bad thing right? I mean, isn’t your job to manipulate people and make them better? Did you know that I want to be a psychiatrist when I grow up?
Jason—
Because I do. Think of all the crazy people you get to meet. I saw this one guy on the bus on the way over here. He didn’t know how to wear clothes.
Jason, come on…
No really, he was wearing pants on his arms, and had two ski hats on his feet. I don’t know if there were shoes underneath or not, but these hats were tied on by rubber bands, right? He did get his underwear on in the right place though—
Look--
I know because he wasn’t wearing anything over them. He was just sitting there in his boxers and talking to himself. That’s how you know person’s really crazy, right doc? They talk to themselves. Am I right? I am aren’t I?
Jason, our times up.
Oh. Ok. Well, can I come back then? I mean, did I pass he test?
Sure. If that’s how you want to look at it.
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 9:27 AM
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