Blog on Blogs
So I’m thinking right? Which is always a bad way to start a blog, because my extensive research on the subject has been informing me, that nobody really wants to know what’s up with me. For two reasons, neither if which is nearly as self-depreciating as it sounds, I’m not doing this for pity. It’s more to share the results of my research. I told about that, remember?Lets begin with how much closer to boring personal posts are. "Closer" is deceptive. It would be better to say that personal blogs have crossed the boring line. Those dirty rotten traitors! But can one blame them? Apparently not according to my research.
But I could be wrong. Maybe it’s just my personal blogs. Either way, they are problematic.
Why are these so-called insights into my soul so much more sleep inducing? Let’s introduce a scenario. Say something is important to me. My theory regarding magic/bubble/fairies for example. Suppose this is a theory which requires serious thought. See? It’s right there! That word, "serious." It puts up one doozey of a roadblock. Why? Have you any idea how hard it is to entertain over subjects you take seriously? Many worthy people are able to combine these two.
I personally cannot. Maybe when I get smarter.
Resulting, talking about me, (someone that I do not take seriously and therein lies the paradox) talking about my family, (people that I’d love not to take this seriously) talking about my personal eurekas! All seem to lose a little of that fun oomph that comes out of the non sequitur. I just can’t get into character when I don’t have a character to get into.
Oh the sense of it!
The second part of my research (for those of you who got lost, the first part of my research dealt with my careful observations of my blog writing) has been conducted by blog surfing. You know that fun little button on the top of the screen that says next blog? Where does that take you?
Most of the time one of two places. First you may find yourself in the middle of a foreign language blog. Now I am in no way shape or form saying that these are good or bad. I can’t really tell, I’m pretty crippled when it comes to lingualism. For all I know, these sites could be riotous and enjoyable and a belly full of intellect. I will never know and therefore, I must quickly pass them by.
The other common blog type is the diary one. How many times to you pop upon a random blog that says:
"I had a test in biology today. I don’t think I did very well, but then at lunch Joanie let one and I totally forgot. After school she called me and we talked about Mark. I know I don’t have a chance, but Joanie thinks she does (yeah right) so she’s going to ask him to the winter formal. I think I’m going with Steve. He left flowers in my locker this morning…"
Which tends to alienate the 99.99999% of people who don’t happen to be in her circle of friends.
I could be wrong about that. My research was mostly based on how many seconds I spent at each blog. These did rate higher than the foreign language blogs by about ten seconds. (Average time at foreign language blog: 2 seconds, average time at teenager blog: 12 seconds. Margin of error, 3 seconds) For all I know I have this weird unhealthy lack of curiosity about 14 year old girls in Pasadena.
These two are painfully hard to move beyond, and yet sometimes, by sheer magic, I find this blog (or that blog) actually worth two cents. How do I love them, let me count the ways!
What makes a blog worth reading (silly rabbit, blogs aren’t for reading!) isn’t easy to determine, alas! But it does exist. It’s a lot like "normal" in that way, but we’ll be leaving that for a new segment I shall be inducting shortly for the subject of cliches. Stay tuned. The best way I’ve found to explain whether the blog is actually worth reading is to answer this question. How long have I been here? Anything longer than one minute is a good sign.
Of course, no blog research would be complete without turning the little eye on myself. How much time do I spend reading my own blog? I’m sorry to say, maybe two or five seconds a month. Embarrassing to any degree, I must admit. Half the time I don’t even know that I’ve posted the same entry nine times. Have I? Please tell me.
So no, I do not pass my test. This could explain much. Or this could explain nothing. It’s very hard to say, and Doug isn’t talking to me.
(no, that is NOT an alienating reference to people you don’t know. I have already introduced you to doug. He’s the one I blame for my lack of hair style, aka a mouse nest.)
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 3:00 PM
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