Miss Eliza And The Next generation
Dear Miss Eliza,I’m worried. So much of our current knowledge is in mediums that are either easy to destruct or literally intangible. What happens when some day in the future, the screen has become obsolete because holograms are the thing, and our planet is so close to the sun that the surface temperature of the Earth is 452 degrees Fahrenheit? What record will be left of this culture? Of me? Of my dog?
Fear The Future
Dear Future Fret,
There’s nothing to worry about. No matter how far into the future you look you will still find two types of people.
1. Consumers: Where there is life there is consumption. And where there is intelligent life (and isn’t that after all what we mean by posterity? Future intelligent life?) there are:
2. Advertisers.
And as long as there are advertisers you can be sure of finding the esteemed wrinkles that make up the reporters of 60 Minutes. These hard-nosed pull-no-punches investigative reporters will always find the answers, whether the question is, "how safe is your bottled water?" or "just what were our ancestors like?"
Mike Wallace will find out for the future generations just exactly what the lost society of modern civilization was up to. Morley Safer will be able to explain just what the Macarana was all about (and give a sample on-air). And Andy Rooney will bitch about how much air he pays for when he buys potato chips.
But don’t worry. 60 Minutes will not be the be all and end all of investigative journalism. Barbra Walters will be so kind as to shed a softer light on the subject Bob Barker will be there to ask how much the toothpaste costs. Casey Kasem will be counting down America’s top 40 while Dick Clark counts down the last seconds of the old year.
So you can sleep comfortably tonight my frightened fellow. Our culture will live on. And we have advertisers to thank for it.
- Miss Eliza
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 6:03 PM
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