Dear Miss Eliza: On The Trail of Truth
Dear Miss Eliza,Can truth exist independent of reason?
Perry Ponderer
Dear Periwinkle,
The truth is, no. One can only prove the existence of truth by proving its existence. And one cannot have proof without a reason. This is an excellent example. I proved the truth of my statement by using reasons.
But the brilliance is not in the statement here, the brilliance is in the application. Think of all the things you can whistle out of existence based on the fact that they’re unreasonable.
Reality tv cannot exist because it is reasonable that it does not. For it to exist it would have to be profitable and in order to be profitable it would have to be watched repeatedly, and in order to watch it repeatedly, one must find it enjoyable and in order to find it enjoyable one must be incapable of thinking about it and in order to be incapable of thinking about it one must not have a brain and in order to not have a brain, you must be at least a worm, and since worms are incapable of purchasing products advertised on tv, no one is going to make reality tv shows, therefore they do not exist. (This reasoning process also works for Britney Spears)
Corrupt government officials cannot exist because we live in a republic, and if an official is corrupt we will vote him out of office, at which point he will no longer be a government official. Not to mention the fact that since we have no corrupt officials in the government, that means they are all working for the public good, and since our society today is the result of said work, that means that where we are right now is the public good. That’s a comfort, isn't it?
Quantum physics is no longer valid because an object either exists or it doesn’t. It cannot fluctuate willy nilly between the two states. In fact it cannot fluctuate between the two states whatsoever, let alone willy nilly. This means that we require no quantum law of gravity which means that general relativity explains everything that ever existed which means that it also explains the existence of God.
So Perry, look at all the things that you have caused no longer to exist. You are a true genius, and should be widely recognized as such.
- Miss Eliza
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 12:35 PM
2 Comments:
hola,hola, como estamos solo te escribo para tenr un 1gb de google jjajajaja lo que hago xauu!!!
Ummm, thank you!
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