Dear Miss Eliza and the Perfect Season... May It Live Always
Dear Miss ElizaSo I'm a Dolphin fan and as you must know - in 1972 the were the only team to ever go undefeated and win the championship. 17-0. What an achievement, especially for a nice guy like Don Shula. And coincidentally, This Friday is the 20 year anniversary that the 1985
Dolphins handed the then undefeated Chicago Bears their only loss of the season on Monday Night Football - preserving the 1972 mark.
You remember those Bears. Walter Payton. The Fridge. Ditka. The bad rap video. Well, for the second time since then another team is threatening the undefeated season. The Broncos in 1998 were undefeated a week before they were to meet the Dolphins on Monday Night Football
(drama) but they lost the week before. Then for good measure they lost to the Dolphins too.
Anyways, the second team is this year's Indianapolis Colts. And they don't play the Dolphins this year. And besides the Dolphins suck this year. And unlike the nasty 85 Bears, there's not an unpleasant fellow on this Colts team.
Short of voodoo dolls and elixirs from displaced New Orleans practitioners, What's a Dolphins fan to do?
Streaker
Dear Streaker,
Good grief, Voodoo would barely put a dimple in this problem. You want to appeal to a higher authority. You’ll need to get the schedule changed. And since pro team schedules were set in stone five years prior to the big bang, that might take some doing.
Fortunately, I hear on the gossip mills that Hercules has been getting a little antsy lately, acting up again. Apparently he owes Hera another labor or two. You might want to put a word in with her. Of course, the key is getting on her good side. You’d be surprised how susceptible she is to flattery. (You ever herd of butter? It’s cement compared to how fast she can melt with the right touch.)
But back to Hercules. If anybody can get this job done for you, he can. That man/god is a type A personality if I ever laid eyes on one. And he gets things done RIGHT. The other day I told him I lost my parasol down a black hole, and he went and got it for me! And a couple years ago when Mom was late for her dentist appointment, He just popped time back a couple hours just to help her out. And do you really think that Einstein thought of special relativity all by himself?
Hercules can save the Dolphins rep for you. Boy if I was a bettin’ woman…
- Miss Eliza
posted by Sarah Eliza @ 5:19 PM
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